‘Twas the night before LASIK, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The contacts were placed on the bathroom counter with care,
In hopes that in the morning rush neither would tear.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of sugarplums danced in their head;
They were lucky you see, for those visions were clear;
They had no need for eye drops or tears.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I felt round for my glasses to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
Out in the moonlight, I could hardly see;
For my prescription was old, and the snow shined brightly.
When what to my blinking eyes did appear,
But eight tiny smudges that could have been reindeer,
In the right light I may have seen an old driver, so lively and quick;
But alas could not tell if ‘twas a dog or St. Nick.
I ran to the chimney in time to see,
St. Nick descending with speed and with glee.
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
He filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
He tilted his head and looked at me strangely,
“Why, you’re squinting,” he said. “Can you not see?”
I bashfully told him my glasses were old,
He smiled and said, “If I may be so bold;
“Your children got toys and games to play,
But you’re getting a gift that will last the rest of your days.”
He walked to the calendar and marked the next day,
Circling the date, he turned to say,
“My friend, take cheer; there’s no need for sorrow,
I’ve just put you down for LASIK tomorrow!”
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“May there be LASIK for all, and for all a good night!”